I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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