Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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