I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
