wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
