She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
