first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my poor anus
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
