How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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