xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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