mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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