So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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