No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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