fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
