I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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