That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
