your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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