Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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