one word: firstdatebathroomanal
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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