Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize
