We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
