"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
