I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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