He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
