she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just gift wrapped bread.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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