I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize