i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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