I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize