it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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