I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
ok first of all what the fuck
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
