he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
