My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
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Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
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Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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