so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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