I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
