so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
