I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
