i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
