I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
