What did we do last night that was yellow?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
