in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
