My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You can't special order awesome
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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