know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize