Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
