jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
