she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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