I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
