Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dick very happy bro
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
