I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
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Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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