just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
