remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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