My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
