moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
