let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
