I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
