So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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