Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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