Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
