What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
