Soap is not a condiment
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
