You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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