just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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